89a – Win Over Worry (Part 1)
Think a minute…It’s been said: “A day of worry is more exhausting than a week of work.” In fact, the root word for worry is “choke” or “strangle”. Worrying chokes the life and strength out of you. Constant worrying strangles us emotionally and physically, gradually draining away our happiness, peace, and energy. “If you don’t bury your worries, they will bury you.” Today and tomorrow, we will learn ways to win over worry.
To use the old technology of camera film as an analogy: “Worry is the darkroom in which negatives are developed.” You’re often expecting the worst—thinking of the bad things that can possibly happen. But this only paralyzes you; so, you end up doing little or nothing at all. Worry infects you with the “paralysis of analysis”. As a mother told her children: “Worry is like a rocking chair: You can rock all day long and go nowhere.” This is why worrying is a waste of our time and energy.
For one thing, worry makes no sense because you’re trying to control what you cannot control—such as the weather. Since it’s impossible, why even try? Plus, worrying about something you can change makes no sense either—since worrying cannot change anything. Make sure you do your best, then don’t worry about the rest.
Worry is not even natural or logical. You would feel foolish if you walked around all day with an open umbrella over your head just because you’re worried it might rain someday. Instead, you naturally wait to deal with the rain when it comes, if it even comes at all. We humans were not built physically, mentally, or emotionally to handle more than one day’s responsibilities and challenges.
An important step to winning over worry is simply to choose not to be a victim. Many of the things we worry about come from the wrong words and behavior of other people—yet we feel somehow responsible for the other person’s bad attitudes and actions. It’s true that peace with other people is very important—but never at the expense of the truth and facts. If you know for certain that you did not do something wrong, then you are not helping the other person by always rescuing him/her and taking responsibility for his/her wrongs.
Remember, with Jesus in control of your heart and life, you’re a victor not a victim of circumstances and other people. Won’t you ask Him to forgive you for living your own way, and to help you start living His way? It’s only when you have His inner peace and power that you can truly win over worry. Just think a minute…
89b – Win Over Worry (Part 2)
Think a minute…A woman worried for 40 years that she would die of cancer. She never got cancer and eventually died of old age. She wasted more than half of her life worrying about something that never happened. Furthermore, all her worrying stole much of her peace of mind and happiness. Today we will continue our strategy for winning over worry.
One thing we must do is to simply “let humans be human.” In case you haven’t noticed, absolutely no one is perfect—including you. So, simply accept the fact that every day people around you are going to make mistakes and be less than perfect. After all, they have to do the same with you.
You cannot fight the facts of life. Each and every day something will not go your way. As my grandmother used to say: “Who said life’s fair!” Because it’s not! “Bad things happen to good people.” We must learn to gracefully handle life’s unfair treatment and circumstances. Go with the flow of life, like a river keeps flowing over and around the obstacles in its way.
Sometimes you may have to pay more than your fair share of something. Just do it generously and move on. After all, your relationships are much more important than a little money. Assume that you will probably get cheated in life about 10% of the time, and that you may lose about 10% of your possessions. Remember, they are just “things” that get old, rusty, broken, and wear out anyway. Furthermore, you cannot take them with you when you leave this life.
Just as we need others to give us kindness and grace for our faults and mistakes, we need to give grace to others. Then we will not suffer nearly as much tension, stress, and worry. Instead, we will have deeper happiness and peace with other people.
“Worry does not take away tomorrow’s problems. It only takes away today’s strength.” Winning over worry is an “inside job”. The battle is inside your mind and heart. Jesus said: “Who can add a single hour to his life by worrying! Each day has enough trouble of its own, so live one day at a time.”
Jesus promises that if you do your best, He will take care of the rest. If you put your life in His hands, you will have nothing left to worry about, since everything that is out of your control will be in His control. It’s an amazing deal and exchange! Remember, if you can trust God to manage the universe, you can trust Him to manage your own personal world. Won’t you ask Him to take charge of your heart and life, including its pressures and problems? Then He can give you His inner peace and power to win over worry—no matter what you’re facing and feeling. Just think a minute…
89c – Up Close and Personal
Think a minute…This is a true Russian love story. Nadya von Meck was the wealthiest woman in Moscow; but sadly, all of her money and fortune could not comfort her after her husband died. So, she escaped inside her luxurious home and tried to heal her broken heart by playing the music she loved on her piano.
At the same time in the city of Moscow, there was a 36-year-old composer named Peter Tchaikovsky. He had no idea that his music had begun to restore hope and love to the heart of this lonely widow. Nadya felt that Peter understood her pain and feelings, which he had masterfully transformed into the most soothing and stirring music she had ever heard.
But Nadya’s infatuation with Peter’s music was also attracting her to him personally. She learned from his friends about his interests, and she later paid Tchaikovsky money to write more music. Nadya, in fact, became his #1 financial supporter and patron. Over time she also became his closest confidant and companion who inspired him to create some of history’s most romantic music. For 14 years they found love in each other. In fact, Tchaikovsky’s passionate music was written for none other than his Nadya, the love of his life.
Then one day they suddenly ended their relationship. No one knows for certain why. After that, neither of them lived long without the other. Nadya quickly lost her health and Peter died speaking her name. Yet their secrets live on in their love letters to each other. That is all we know of them. For 14 years they expressed their feelings to each other in letters. Amazingly, the famous relationship of Peter Tchaikovsky and Nadya von Meck, which produced some of the world’s most romantic music, was from two lovers who never once met face to face!
Real love must be lived “up close and personal”—not just in romantic love songs and letters. That is why God humbled Himself to become a human being: to show His real love for us “up close and personal”. That was the only way we could know what He is truly like and learn to love Him for the real person He is. He has done everything He possibly can to show us how much He loves us; and how much He wants to share His life with us in a daily personal relationship.
Won’t you open your heart and ask Jesus, who lived, suffered, died, and rose from death for you, to become the love of your life? Only then can His real love and power begin changing your heart and life from the inside out. It doesn’t get any better than becoming “up close and personal” with our Creator and Savior. God is love—so with God the Son living in your heart, you can start learning how to love others unconditionally the way Jesus unconditionally loves you. Just think a minute…
89d – Fight by the Rules
Think a minute…28 June, 1997 was the date of the famous Bite Fight between world heavyweight boxing champion Evander Holyfield and Mike Tyson. During the fight, Tyson completely lost control of his anger and actually bit off part of Holyfield’s ear! Tyson lost his license to box and paid a $3 million penalty for not fighting by the rules.
Hopefully husbands and wives never lose control like that in a conflict! Our marriage should be a harmonious duet, not a destructive duel—in which we shoot hurtful, damaging words at each other. We must learn how to disagree and debate in a fair, positive way that brings better understanding and closeness. Whenever you and your spouse disagree and have conflict, here are six helpful guidelines to follow.
The first one is timing. If either of you is too angry to talk about the problem, then wait for a time when you both can calmly discuss the issue. Take time out, don’t take it out on each other!
The second guideline is to allow each other the freedom to say, “I’m angry”or “I’m hurt”. From time to time, we all need to express how we’re really feeling inside. Remember, our feelings are not right or wrong, but real; so, we should respect each other’s freedom and right to express them in a healthy and helpful way.
Number 3, know why you are angry. Sometimes the thing that triggered your anger was only a small thing, but behind it is the bigger problem—which is the one you need to understand and talk about.
The fourth guideline is to realize that your anger is the real enemy, not your wife or husband. So, stay on the same side and fight together against the anger, resentments and painful problems that are hurting your marriage and children.
Number 5: Lower your voice and you will raise the quality of your communication and relationship.
Last, but definitely not least, invite God to the fight. You need to ask Jesus to take control of your heart, since only He has the kind of real love, wisdom, and self-control you need to be able to actually use your differences to build a closer, stronger and more satisfying life together. Just think a minute…
89e – Finish Well
Think a minute…Watching the Olympics can be both inspiring and heartbreaking. We watch and feel both the “thrill of victory” and the “agony of defeat”. This is especially true when the world’s greatest athletes, who have worked so hard for so long, lose by only a fraction of a second! Even with all their years of daily discipline and tough training, they still must finish well! Almost winning does not count. No one is rewarded and remembered for what they almost did.
In the 2008 Beijing Olympics, both the U.S. men’s and women’s 400-meter relay teams learned this the hard way. Both teams ran well for most of the race, but then near the end they dropped the baton and failed to finish. One of them, Tyson Gay, who was the 2007 world champion in both the 200 and 100-meter dashes, left the Olympics empty-handed with not even a single medal. He can tell you about the agony of not finishing well!
In 2003, after 22 years of exploration, the Space Shuttle Columbia went on its 28th mission, this time with seven astronauts on board. They were on a 16-day journey into space to conduct important experiments. Everything went well and they achieved their goals, so they returned to earth from their successful mission. They were just 16 minutes from landing…when suddenly the Space Shuttle Columbia exploded! Only tiny pieces were left of what was one of history’s most powerful, advanced machines and masterpieces of engineering. But the even greater tragedy was the sudden loss of those seven brave and brilliant astronauts. They came so close, only 16 minutes from home, but they did not make it.
It’s not how you start but how you finish that ultimately determines everything. In the most important matters of life and death, right and wrong, “almost” does not count. You have to finish well. If you let yourself be distracted or detoured, even just a little, it can end up destroying you permanently. Don’t wait another minute. Won’t you ask Jesus to take charge of your heart and daily way of living? He made it crystal clear that if you truly love Him, you will wholeheartedly live His way every day. Only then, with His help and power, can you be sure you will live well and finish well. Just think a minute…